Last note was in June. June!!! That was five months ago. A lot has happened in those five months but the numero uno top supremo is that I gave birth to a whole human being! A girl one! The entire pregnancy I was absolutely certain I was having another boy, while John was confident we were having a girl. People had their guesses, but most leaned towards boy as well. I think too a part of me convinced myself it would be a boy because I didn't want to feel any kind of disappointment if I didn't get a little girl. Thats not to say I wouldn't love a little boy - I would love him just as much - but I wanted a girl, and holy shock and surprise I got one! And I can't tell you how many moments in the past two months I've sat and thought to myself this is one of the most luckiest, most awesomest things ever in my life - a boy AND a girl!
I can't quite remember enough at the moment to write about what happened during the pregnancy after my last post. A lot of numb hand days, uncomfortable sleep, waddling, needing to pee every two minutes, etc.. etc.. I will say that I did sleep better this time around than when I was pregnant with Khai and was far less swollen. In fact, I don't think my feet swelled at all. With Khai though, I carried him right up to the exact moment and that was that. Walked around the day before I was due, bought a car, went into labor and had a baby. With Maiya, things were a little different.
I was told I was due 9/16. By 9/9 contractions were coming along and this time around I had a phone app to time it. Fancy. I'll never let John live it down that he fell asleep the last time when he was in charge of writing down each contraction time! Of course I know.. it was a long evening and we were both tired bla bla bla, but still, I was practically dying! This time, my app and I took matters into our own hands. The app said I was in labor and John said lets go.. so off we went in the middle of the night. I was pretty certain it wasn't time then, despite the app, but John said better safe than sorry. By 4am they sent us back home. I hadn't progressed past 3cm dilated. Looking back, despite the intense pain I was having, I was making jokes all the way to the hospital, texting, taking pictures. It wasn't time. The entire next day I hurt pretty badly and stayed in bed feeling so miserable. By Wednesday the 11th, I woke up at 5am with contractions that kicked me in the face. I laid there as long as I could and finally decided I needed to pull myself out of bed. I spent the next hour in some real legit pain, yet had the nerve to flat iron my hair between contractions. By the time John found me, I was screaming. It was such a frenzy this time. We had to get Khai situated with Rob, we had to get my bag, get me dressed, get out the door and me hoisted up into the big red truck John insisted on going to the hospital in (his dads truck). From here on, I was that woman you see on tv screaming down the highway in labor, ready to pop a baby out at any moment. Holy hurt. From the time we arrived at the hospital until Maiya arrived, just 40 minutes passed. I spent about 30 or so pushing. She came fast. I remember pulling into the parking lot and wanting to die. I remember John looking for a wheelchair to get me in and me standing on the steps outside the hospital thinking I was going to have the baby right there. Wheelchair took far too long to get there so I told John we needed to go in now. The nurse guided me to the bathroom and told me to change into the hospital gown and pee in a cup for her. She came back moments later to me buck naked and crying "I can't pee for you!!" She immediately got me into the bed and checked me. 6cms. The doctor arrived a few minutes later. 8cms. She said "you are having this baby now". Once again, I am proud to say I did this drug free. The pain, oh my god the pain. And as I laid there pushing what felt like a giant out of me, John says "are you wearing eyeliner?!" I'm pretty sure I could have killed him then and there. The doctor made mention that this baby is big. In fact she said this baby would be bigger than Khai, and at that moment I felt a little nervous and just how excruciating this pain was about to get. And then as if us finding out our girl was a boy (Khai) wasn't surprising enough, out came a little girl. John high fived me. Yes.. he totally did. And I couldn't have been any happier in that moment because I got my girl!!
Little Miss Maiya was born on 9/11/13 at 7:38am, weighing 7lbs 15oz. Totally not bigger than Khai at all! Liar. She has so much hair, more than Khai did. And she looks just like her daddy - which I know makes him so happy. She also farts like him and has his grumpy scowl. But I can sit all day and crack up at her farts.. how does this teeny little thing make such grown man farts?! And all her fussing and tears (and there is a lot!) becomes nothing when she flashes her sweet smiles and wiggles her teeny toes.
Two months in.. its been an exhausting start, as expected. I can't recall if it was like this with Khai although i'd like to say it wasn't.. zombie brain only allows for memories to go so far back and is selective. Just like Khai, Maiya is a needs to be held baby. She's gotten into a fairly decent sleep pattern at night but keeps me on my toes during the day. She yells at me all the time, and doesn't often let me sit down. She loves bath time but hates getting out of the bath (yells at me then too). She's got these long pinky toes that I have no idea where they came from and I'm always wondering. She grunts and sounds like a hungry zombie. I haven't found a single birth mark on her, whereas Khai has almost the identical ones as I do. And finally, now at 9 weeks or so, she's smiling so much and even talks. Talking consists of her making various sounds, in particular when I say "O" to her, she tries to say it back and sometimes does. We work on this every day, and granted she may not know exactly what she's saying, she definitely is responding and its pretty damn cool. She's got a big strawberry spot between her eyebrows that hopefully will fade away soon, and a cute pushed up nose and big slate gray eyes that are slowly turning brown. I really can't wait to see how this girl changes and grows.
Khai and Carter are so thrilled we have a girl in the mix now. They both were hoping for a girl. I think we all were. Both boys are very sweet to her. I feel sad though that I am unable to give Khai the same kind of attention I used to. I know he feels it too and it really hits my heart. I can't lay and cuddle with him all night like I used to. I can't spend countless hours playing with him, and I feel like he's growing so fast before my eyes and i'm missing parts of it. He's been understanding about it but definitely has his moments. He needs my attention and I need him. But Maiya needs me too right now. I think this is the hardest part of it all for me. Not the sleepless nights, not the lack of eating, not the doom and gloom I feel looking at my post baby body. I miss my boy.
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